Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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