yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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