Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
