At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
