porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
