This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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