I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
