Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Vodka?
Forever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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