Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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