Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize