ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
