well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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