Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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