there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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