Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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