Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
