like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
