So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
