Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
