Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
