I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
