I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
