so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
