i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
