So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
