he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
