Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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