that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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