We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
