well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
