if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She said her name was "party"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
