i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
