I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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