chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
