She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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