So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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