Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
