he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
