Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
