it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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