D3 body, D1 cock
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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