she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
