pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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