If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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