I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
