I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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