Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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