You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
