the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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