Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
